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[09 Dec 2004|11:25pm] |
If I were a month I would be: October
If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday
If I were a time of day I would be: 930 pm as this is when the mall closes
If I were a planet I would be: crematoria
If I were a sea animal I would be: narwhal whale
If I were a direction I would be: North
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: one of those annoying computer chairs that makes you kneel for good posture
If I were a historical figure I would be: Marie Antoinette
If I were a liquid I would be: coke w/grenadine
If I were a stone I would be: opal
If I were a tree I would be: redwood
If I were a bird I would be: owl
If I were a flower I would be: mini rose
If I were a mythical creature I would be: mermaid
If I were a musical instrument I would be: drums
If I were a reptile I would be: a dinosaur
If I were a color I would be: dk green
If I were an emotion I would be: anxious
If I were a sound I would be: raptor shreik
If I were an element I would be: water.
If I were a song I would be: alec eiffel
If I were a movie I would be: Legend
If I were a book I would be: Henry and June
If I were a food I would be: 7 layer burrito with potatoes
If I were a place I would be: London
If I were a material I would be: jersey
If I were a taste I would be: tart
If I were a scent I would be: patchouli
If I were an article of clothing I would be: jeans
If I were a certain part of the body I would be: a hand
If I were a facial expression I would be: sneer
If I were a subject in school I would be: personal communications
If I were a number I would be: 7
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(5 have time to spare | Giving a fuck takes too much effort)
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| god damn. |
[15 Jun 2004|03:09am] |
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 thoughtful |
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denali |
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so it has been confirmed that the bomb in my moth is in fact a cracked filling and will need the matinence of a root canal.
i am terrified.
someone please tell me how to prevent vomiting from hydrocodine.
there are certain people i miss like hell. some too distant for me even to say.
I've been lushing it since sarah and jessie have been down. especially in Orlando. wino all the way. we had some good times..duke and i. Magic kingdom we made the best of...and i finally got to ride Space mountain for the first time. bought some space strawberries and ice cream.i dont know if dippin dots is better or not. they are both oh so delish.
sean is working some of dukes hours so its weird to have duke off work two more days a week.
whats funny is that i finally gained back a tremendous amount of respect and loyalty for duke on my own. without any threat in the relationship. and i thought that maybe it would be reciprocated. i guess im just expecting too much depth from one spacey boy.
i feel that ive done so much reaching out and touching in the past. i need a little push to keep me going and i dont know where to get it from.
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(5 have time to spare | Giving a fuck takes too much effort)
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[25 Feb 2004|01:23am] |
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 anxious |
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music |
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pixies |
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Once in a while something will bother me enough to force me to document my feelings.
It is when issues come to a head, that i need to project.
I am very bothered with my inability to become close to people. I want to crawl inside of everyone and learn new ways to feel. but as of now. i am married. i am the "shadow girlfriend".
i am afraid of breaking rules.
it is as if being with duke is "upholding the law".
i am afraid of the skittish nature of new relationships.
it is so very easy to retreat and still remain yourself.
i am afraid of running this house by myself. waking up alone. sleeping in all day while im scheduled for school, work.
i am also afraid of who i will become if he is my only experience. i want to know what others are talking about. and i want to talk and talk about it all night. its what we do best. argue replaced by talk.
i should be writing a fucking hamlet essay. but my content on it is shit. i dont know what aspect to write about.
i also have a major math test tomorrow morning. and even with cris's offer of help, i dont think it would do much good. i will fail yet another uncredited math class.
i need to wake up and get out.
try something new.
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(4 have time to spare | Giving a fuck takes too much effort)
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[30 Dec 2003|03:23am] |
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music |
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Five years - mr. bowie |
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okay okay, im back and ready for some action!..yess.
most awful trip ever. I drove back from NY, eyes wide, eager as hell. 23 hours.
why, might you ask, was my upstate ny experience hell on earth?
welp. a certain mr. paul vaughn stephenson had intended on accompanying me to my grandparents. and my mother, after purchasing his ticket 2 months before, got a message from his father on her answering machine about how duke "just wasnt able to make it". aw. poor boy. shithead.
First off, if anyone knows my mother-daughter relationship they know that my mother sent me to live with my father, and we havent been on good terms. Knowing what i was getting myself into, i agreed to going with my mother up to ny just because little dukey wanted to see snow. i never wanted to go.
long, painful, story short--things are different between us now.
i'll feel it soon.
next week.
when my father goes to the bahamas for four months and im left alone at my house.
company is greatly appreciated. :)
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(7 have time to spare | Giving a fuck takes too much effort)
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| You sold out. |
[18 Dec 2003|12:43am] |
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mood |
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 irate |
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music |
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"Im not the girl you wanted" |
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This is the end of you and I, Duke.
Understand how pathetic you are, coward.
Even though my trip to new york will be lonely, your company will never be welcome again.
You've found yourself a new low.
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(7 have time to spare | Giving a fuck takes too much effort)
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[24 Nov 2003|11:34pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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music |
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jack whimpering. |
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this weekend was the most entertaining ever since.. forever. The thought of returning to piper to watch The Tempest excited me so much that i went to both nights. Nervousness of seeing mrs. thomas was useless, we were all loving eachother, discussing gossip and catching up. Some crazy man ("you guys see GOTH-I-KA, most beautiful princess-esss?")attempted to rape Katie, lindsay, jason, and i. (ahh exaggeration.)
I actually got my ass out of my jersey cotton sheets saturday morning to meet jess and hector at the beach. fears of public semi-nudity haunted me when i had to lay there for a half hour alone with my cell phone as my only friend. but they arrived, we slopped tanning oil everywhere, soaked for an hour or so and i rushed to work. (i was a half hour late. didnt know it would take soo long)
work work work
im dreading my english class tomorrow. my teacher is coo coo. <--haha i said coo coo. Tuesdays and thursdays are absolutely the worst. Thursday nights are super tho. I always feel a sense of relief..and this thursday is turkey time.
This town will be ALIVE this weekend. im actually going to WANT to be in this place and no other. I wish to assign appointments for each person for each day. That would be best. SARAH COMES TOMORROW!!:)))))))))
windows down, music high. let the wind propel me.
note: the lack of my complaints about duke is a good thing. maybe im getting over things ive accepted and moving on. satisfaction is key and i am not satisfied. self gratification..is better!
buy me AAA batteries for christmas. In bulk.
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(3 have time to spare | Giving a fuck takes too much effort)
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tart13f's journal
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